Danté's Inferno

Here’s my laundry list of what’s wrong with the house and my guesses as to how much it’s going to cost to fix things. If I have gotten an estimate from a contractor I’ll note that in the comments.

Flat Roof Leaks over 1st Floor Bathroom

We’ve been chasing this for years, since we bought the house. And, we discovered when we removed the floor in the basement that it has been leaking and rotting all the wood in the walls and floor.

The latest estimate on fixing it for real is over $4,000.00 This estimate is a year old, so it’s probably going to be more now. Good luck with this one, some guy I hired to fix it the last time took the rotted plywood off and put 2 layers of membrane over the beams! Nice, eh? I won’t even tell you how much that cost.

Plaster fixes from leaky Roof(s)

The dormer in the back was missing all the French tiles in the middle of it. I guess they did the edges so you wouldn’t see it from the yard. I had this fixed twice and it currently isn’t leaking. But, I never had the plaster fixed under the dormer.

The plaster also failed in one of the closets because it used to leak over there, too. And there’s still a hole in the ceiling below the roof mentioned above. The last estimate I got was $2,500.00 and that was 2 years ago.

Katrina ruined the Kitchen Floor

When the remnants of Katrina came through the humidity was so bad that it swelled the pine planks in the kitchen and all the finish came off. It needs to be re-sanded and refinished. This is another $2000.00 and that’s a real mess to work with.

The Garage is Failing

The previous owner sometime put a new roof on the garage. Unfortunately, it’s too heavy for the garaged and punched the concrete clear through. You can see through the back side of the garage. It’s really cool that you can watch the sunset between the cracks of the bricks. The estimate I got for replacing the garage with a crappy, pre-built garage is $7,000.00

The Driveway Sucks

This is part opinion and part fact. It’s so narrow, that you can’t get a full size truck behind the house. No one will plow the drive because you can’t get a truck down the driveway! And it’s also crumbling. The previous owner(s) put a 1″ layer of asphalt on top to hide just how bad it is. The foundation holding the driveway up as it goes uphill has failed and crumbled. You are going to have to replace this. The estimate I got for re-doing the driveway is $10,000.00 because you can’t get a truck in to do the work. Everything will have to be hand carried, rock, concrete and re-bars. It’s going to take weeks to do it.

Missing French Tiles

Good luck finding these tiles. We used all the good ones up that were spares we found in the garage and in the basement.

Plumbing in 2nd floor bath is Clogged

The hot water supply to the bathtub on the 2nd floor is plugged and almost no hot water gets to the tub. This line runs though concrete poured for the floor of the bathroom. You’re going to have to dig up the concrete – or – go under the floor, in the cieling of the kitchen. But, the rafters run the wrong way. So pick your poison here, either way you’re going to spend some bucks.

The Kitchen Layout Sucks

But you’re kind of screwed changing it because the lone radiator is under the sink! There are only 3 small  built-in cabinets, no storage, no vent for the stove, either. The estimate I got for really fixing this mess was over $20,000.00

The Deep Yard with the Narrow Driveway costs Money

Since you can’t get a truck past the house, you have to haul all the leaves out to the front of the house to get rid of them. If you do it yourself, your looking at 15 hours of work (I’ve done it a couple of times). If you hire someone, you’re looking at $200-$300 two or three times a year for yard cleanup!

The Basement is Wet, Very Wet

Most basements in Lakewood aren’t all that dry to begin with, but the moisture content of the walls in the basement is 100%. That’s right, the walls are basically water! Mold is always a problem. You don’t have air conditioning in the summer, but the dehumidifier runs constantly and the electric bill is around $200/month. To get this fixed, the estimate I got when we bought the house in 2000 was $7,000.00. I don’t think it’s worth it.

Then there’s the Heat Bill

It’s truly astounding. The heat bills for the winter months are hovering between $900 – $1000 per month! That’s a house payment!!! Even if you do the leveling thing, you’re looking at $400-$450 a month, just for heat. And there’s no air so at least you won’t have any bills for the summer, but it gets awfully hot at times.

Can you afford it at $110,000?

That’s the real question. If you’re looking to turn the house, no fucking way. You’re going to have to put probably close to $40,000 to get it sell-able. And in this market? $110,000 + $40,000 = $150,000. It’s only appraising at $160,000! You do the math. And consider, the realty professionals I had stop by to give me a “real” market value so I could investigate a short sell, said the market value was around $140,000 and that was almost a year ago.

If you’re going to fix it all and live in it for 20 years, there’s something to consider. It’s a lot of investment and the market here in Lakewood is going to be terrible for years. What if you get transfered? Can you sell the home?